How to Make Big Decisions When Your Mind and Body Disagree
Lexie Glisson • July 29, 2025

You've done all the research, made the pros and cons lists, and logically analyzed every angle. On paper, the decision is clear—take the job, move to the new city, end the relationship, choose the graduate program. Your mind has decided. But something in your body feels off. Your stomach churns when you think about it. Your chest feels tight. Your shoulders tense up. Your mind says "yes," but your body whispers "no." 


This is one of the most confusing experiences in decision-making: when your rational mind and your somatic wisdom are in conflict. As a therapist who specializes in somatic approaches and works with horses—masters of body-based decision-making—I've learned that these internal conflicts aren't obstacles to overcome, but valuable information to integrate. 


Why Do Our Mind and Body Sometimes Disagree? 


Different Types of Intelligence 

Your mind and body process information differently and serve different functions in decision-making:

 

Mental Intelligence: 


  • Analyzes facts and data 
  • Considers logical outcomes 
  • Plans for the future 
  • Weighs pros and cons 
  • Processes social expectations 


Somatic Intelligence: 


  • Senses energy and authenticity 
  • Detects safety and danger 
  • Responds to intuitive knowing 
  • Processes emotional information 
  • Connects to deeper values and desires 


When these two systems disagree, it's often because they're picking up on different aspects of the same situation. 


Conditioning vs. Authentic Knowing 

Our minds are heavily influenced by social conditioning, family expectations, and cultural messages about what we "should" do. Our bodies, however, respond to what actually feels authentic and aligned for us.


Example: Your mind might say "This is a great career opportunity" based on salary, prestige, and others' expectations, while your body contracts because the work environment or role doesn't align with your authentic nature. 


Past Trauma and Protection Patterns 

Sometimes our body's "no" comes from past trauma or protection patterns that may no longer be relevant. Other times, our mind's "yes" comes from people-pleasing or achievement patterns that override our authentic needs. 


What Does It Feel Like When Mind and Body Disagree? 


Physical Symptoms of Internal Conflict 

When your mind and body are in disagreement, you might experience:


  • Chronic tension or tightness 
  • Digestive issues or nausea 
  • Sleep problems or restlessness 
  • Headaches or fatigue 
  • Feeling "off" or unsettled 
  • Procrastination or avoidance 
  • Anxiety or depression 


Emotional Signs of Misalignment 


  • Feeling torn or conflicted 
  • Excitement mixed with dread 
  • Enthusiasm that quickly fades 
  • Guilt about not wanting what you "should" want 
  • Resentment about feeling pressured 
  • Confusion about what you actually want 


How Can You Tell Which Voice to Trust?


Understanding Your Mind's Voice 

Your mind's voice often sounds like: 


  • "This makes sense logically" 
  • "This is what I should do" 
  • "Everyone thinks this is a good idea" 
  • "This will look good on paper" 
  • "This is the practical choice"
  • "I'd be crazy not to take this opportunity" 


When to trust your mind: When it's aligned with your values, considers your authentic needs, and feels expansive rather than constrictive. 


When to question your mind: When it's driven by "shoulds," fear of judgment, or external expectations that don't align with your authentic self. 


Understanding Your Body's Voice 

Your body's voice communicates through: 


  • Sensations of expansion or contraction 
  • Energy levels (energized vs. drained) 
  • Breathing patterns (easy vs. restricted) 
  • Muscle tension or relaxation 
  • Gut feelings and intuitive hits 
  • Overall sense of alignment or misalignment 


When to trust your body: When its signals are consistent over time and not driven by temporary fear or anxiety. 


When to question your body: When its responses might be based on outdated trauma patterns or fear of growth and change. 


What Is Somatic Decision-Making? 


Somatic decision-making involves using your body's wisdom as a key source of information in making choices. Rather than relying solely on mental analysis, you learn to include your body's responses, energy levels, and felt sense of alignment. 


The Felt Sense of Decisions 

Every decision has a "felt sense"—a bodily experience that gives you information about alignment. Some decisions feel: 


  • Expansive: Open, energizing, spacious 
  • Contractive: Tight, draining, closed 
  • Neutral: Neither particularly energizing nor draining 
  • Mixed: Some aspects feel good, others don't 


Your Body as a Compass 

Your body can serve as an internal compass, pointing you toward what's aligned and away from what isn't. This doesn't mean following every impulse, but rather learning to read and integrate your body's information. 


How Do Horses Teach Somatic Decision-Making? 


In my equine-assisted therapy practice, horses have been incredible teachers about body based decision-making: 


Horses Make Decisions from Their Whole Being

Horses don't separate thinking from feeling. They assess situations using their entire sensory system—sight, sound, smell, energy, and intuition. They make decisions from their whole being, not just their "thinking" mind. 


They Respond to Authentic Energy 

You can't fool a horse with mental justifications. If you're trying to convince yourself that something is right when your body knows it isn't, the horse will respond to your authentic energy state, not your mental story. 


They Trust Their Instincts 

Horses trust their instinctual responses while also being able to learn and adapt. They show us how to honor our immediate somatic responses while also considering new information. 


They Demonstrate Embodied Confidence

When horses make decisions from their authentic knowing, they move with embodied confidence. When they're conflicted or uncertain, it shows in their entire being. 


What Are Practical Steps for Somatic Decision-Making? 


Step 1: Create Space and Stillness 

Before making any big decision, create space away from external pressures and opinions. This might involve:

 

  • Taking a walk in nature 
  • Spending time in meditation or quiet reflection 
  • Temporarily avoiding advice from others 
  • Getting away from screens and digital input 


Step 2: Present the Options to Your Body 

Instead of just thinking about your options, present them to your body:


  • Imagine yourself in each scenario 
  • Notice what happens in your body with each option 
  • Pay attention to your breathing, energy, and physical sensations 
  • Notice which options feel expansive vs. contractive 


Step 3: Live with the Decision Temporarily 

Try "living" with each decision for a few days: 


  • Tell yourself you've decided on Option A and notice how that feels 
  • Then try "deciding" on Option B and compare the felt sense 
  • Pay attention to your dreams, energy levels, and overall well-being 


Step 4: Check for Alignment Over Time 

Somatic responses can change as you get more information or as circumstances shift. Check in with your body regularly: 


  • Are the physical responses consistent over time? 
  • Do you feel more aligned or less aligned as time passes?
  • What happens to your energy when you think about moving forward?


How Do You Handle Fear vs. Intuition? 


Fear often feels like: 


  • Panic or anxiety 
  • Thoughts racing to worst-case scenarios 
  • Tension that increases with mental focus 
  • Responses based on past trauma or conditioning 
  • "What if" thinking that spirals 


Intuitive knowing often feels like: 


  • Calm certainty, even if the path is challenging 
  • A sense of rightness despite external pressure 
  • Responses that remain consistent over time 
  • Information that comes through the body, not just thoughts 
  • A sense of alignment with your deeper values 


Working with Fear in Decision-Making 


Fear isn't always a reason to avoid something—sometimes it indicates growth edges or important changes. The key is learning whether your fear is: 


  • Protective: Warning you of genuine danger or misalignment
  • Growth-related: Arising because you're stepping into something new and challenging
  • Trauma-based: Coming from past experiences that may not be relevant now 


What If Your Body Says No to Everything? 

If your body consistently says "no" to opportunities, it might indicate:


  • Nervous system dysregulation that needs healing 
  • Depression or anxiety affecting your capacity for expansion 
  • Past trauma creating protective patterns 
  • Burnout or depletion requiring rest and restoration 
  • Misalignment with the types of opportunities you're considering 


Healing Before Deciding 

Sometimes the most important decision is to focus on healing and restoration before making other major life choices. This might involve: 


  • Therapy to address trauma or mental health concerns 
  • Somatic work to regulate your nervous system 
  • Rest and restoration to recover from burnout 
  • Exploring what actually brings you joy and energy 


How Do You Integrate Mind and Body Wisdom? 


Both/And Rather Than Either/Or 

The goal isn't to choose between mind and body, but to integrate both sources of wisdom:


  • Use your mind to gather information and consider practical factors 
  • Use your body to assess alignment and authenticity 
  • Look for decisions that satisfy both logical analysis and somatic knowing
  • When they disagree, explore what each is trying to tell you 


Finding Creative Third Options 

When mind and body disagree, there's often a creative third option that honors both:


  • Mind says: Take the high-paying job 
  • Body says: This work environment feels toxic 
  • Third option: Negotiate remote work, look for similar roles in better environments, or find ways to make the current role more aligned 


Timing Considerations

Sometimes mind and body agree on the direction but disagree on timing:


  • Your body might need more preparation or healing 
  • External circumstances might need to shift 
  • You might need to develop certain skills or resources first 


When Should You Seek Professional Support? 


Consider working with a therapist who understands somatic approaches if:


  • You consistently feel disconnected from your body's wisdom 
  • Past trauma is interfering with your decision-making capacity 
  • You have chronic anxiety or depression affecting your choices 
  • You feel stuck between mind and body and can't find integration
  • You want to develop better somatic awareness and decision-making skills


Types of Support That Help:


  • Somatic therapy: Helps you reconnect with your body's wisdom 
  • Equine-assisted therapy: Provides immediate feedback about authenticity and alignment
  • Nature-based therapy: Helps regulate your nervous system and access natural rhythms
  • EMDR or trauma therapy: Addresses past experiences that might be interfering with clear decision-making 


The Wisdom of Integration 

Learning to make decisions that honor both your mental analysis and your somatic wisdom is a skill that develops over time. It requires patience, practice, and often support from others who understand the value of embodied decision-making. 


In my work with horses and nature, I've seen people discover that their most aligned decisions come not from choosing mind over body or body over mind, but from finding the integration point where both sources of wisdom are honored. 


Your mind has valuable information about practical considerations, future planning, and logical analysis. Your body has equally valuable information about authenticity, alignment, and what truly serves your well-being. The most powerful decisions often come from  honoring both. 


Trusting Your Integrated Wisdom 

When you learn to integrate mind and body wisdom in decision-making, you develop a more reliable internal guidance system. You can make choices that are both practically sound and authentically aligned. You can move forward with confidence because you're  honoring all aspects of your knowing.


This doesn't mean decision-making becomes easy—big choices will always involve some uncertainty and risk. This means you're making decisions from your whole self rather than just part of yourself. 


If you're facing a big decision and feeling the conflict between what your mind thinks you should do and what your body is telling you, know that this internal disagreement is information, not a problem to solve. Both voices have wisdom to offer. 


The path forward involves learning to listen to both, understanding what each is trying to tell you, and finding the integration point where your whole self can move forward with confidence and alignment. 


In my work as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Equus Coach, I help clients in Boulder, Golden, and Denver reconnect with their bodies, nature, and horses to navigate big decisions with clarity and confidence. When we learn to trust the wisdom of both mind and body, we can move forward in a way that feels not just logical, but truly aligned. If you're feeling stuck between what your mind says and what your body feels, I'd be honored to support you in finding your way forward.

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How Horses Help With Trauma, Anxiety, and Relationship Healing One of my deepest beliefs is that there’s magic in every moment, if we slow down enough to notice it. Horses taught me this long ago. As a young girl in the barn, I learned that connection doesn’t always need words. Whether you’re working through trauma, anxiety, relational challenges, or simply seeking a deeper sense of self, equine assisted therapy can create unexpected openings. The combination of horses, nature, and therapeutic guidance can unlock parts of you that traditional talk therapy may not reach. The show ring taught me discipline and technique. But it’s the quiet moments in the healing arena, when a client exhales deeply for the first time in weeks or sees their own strength reflected in a horse’s calm presence, that remind me why this work matters. Begin Your Equine Therapy Journey in Boulder Today Healing is personal. 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This post was written by April Lyons of April Lyons Psychotherapy Group It's simple to assume that your mind is to blame when it comes to mental health issues. However, studies have repeatedly demonstrated that our symptoms are not limited to that one location and that nothing is merely mental. Cellular processing typically handles memories, feelings, and experiences. During times of severe stress or worry, you may experience physical symptoms like anxious ticks. Even when you feel OK, your body keeps telling the tale. Somatic therapy can be useful in this situation. When it comes to stress and mental health concerns, somatic therapy works well. It offers a different approach to symptom treatment than conventional talk therapy. Let's examine five typical methods. Increasing Your Somatic Awareness Teaching about body awareness is a key component of somatic therapy. This is an excellent place to start for any further somatic approaches. First, you learn how to recognize tension and how the body stores it. You also evaluate what can evoke feelings of security and serenity. Positive physical sensations can be enhanced and negative ones can be balanced with somatic awareness. Scanning the Body Body scanning is regarded as one of the fundamental methods of somatic treatment. This method aids in increasing awareness of the many body parts and sensations, such as stress, bodily sensations, and stored emotional reactions. You will start by concentrating on that particular location in your mind. You'll address whatever feelings you may have as you work your way down, piece by piece. Do you have stress in your shoulders? Do your hands feel cooler than your body as a whole? Does your lower back feel particularly compressed? You can better understand how stress is showing up in your body by using body scanning. Exercises for Grounding Another excellent technique to bring your body and mind back into the present is to do grounding exercises. This is frequently used to fight worry and stress, or if you start to feel overburdened. Simply recognizing how your feet feel on the floor can be the first step in this process. Identifying the places of touch between your body and another surface may be one way. It frequently includes meditation, which enables you to center yourself and let go of unhelpful energy and/or emotions. Another useful grounding method is breathwork, which uses appropriate breathing methods to help you control your body and relieve tension. It's crucial to keep in mind that it could take some time to become proficient at grounding exercises. Maintaining the procedure will assist you in the long run, even if you feel a little strange or like you're doing something incorrectly. Movement-Based Therapy Through a variety of activities, movement therapy helps you establish a connection with your body. Activities like yoga, tai chi, and dancing may fall under this category. These are movement-based exercises designed to help people express and let go of their inner feelings. The goal of movement therapy is to help you let go of any stress and emotional burdens you may be carrying. Connecting your breath to your motions is essential for movement therapy to be effective. During your guided motions, you should also be mindful of any unfamiliar or strange feelings you may encounter. Pendulation and Titration Panic, anxiety, anger, irritation, and depression are just a few of the emotions that can show themselves as physical symptoms. You can feel disoriented, stranded, disconnected from your own reality, or out of sorts when one of these sets in. Attempting to address such feelings from a conversational point of view isn't always the most effective method. By using this method, you can increase your resilience by switching between activation and regulation periods. To relieve tension in tiny doses, you alternate your attention between an upsetting and a non-stressful activity. Tools for reducing stress and fostering growth can be found in somatic therapy. Even though some of these methods can appear simple, it's important to get professional help if needed. If you are struggling with stress and worry and would like some more guidance with somatic therapy please reach out today .
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