How to Meet a Horse: Somatic Awareness and Equine Communication Signs

The Importance of the First Interaction in Mindful Horsemanship

In the world of professional horsemanship, the first encounter sets the entire trajectory for the relationship. Whether I am working with a rescue horse in Costa Rica or a stable animal at home, the approach is never a mindless walk toward a creature. It is a highly intentional process of energetic alignment. In the video I captured, you see me approaching two white horses while meticulously tracking their body language and checking in with my own physical state. This slow and respectful dance of mutual awareness is the foundation of what many call the sacred hello.

Decoding Horse Body Language for a Safe and Respectful Approach

Meeting a horse requires a soft presence because as prey animals, horses are biologically wired to detect tension. To communicate effectively, you must learn to read the subtle shifts in their physical state.

The Position of the Ears A horse uses its ears to communicate focus and emotional state. If the ears are flicking back and forth, the animal is processing multiple points of interest. If the ears are pinned flat against the neck, it is a clear sign to stop and give the horse space. During my approach, I look for ears that are relaxed or softly pointed toward me, which indicates a calm curiosity rather than a defensive stance.

Facial Tension and Eye Cues Professional equine handlers often look for the soft eye. A relaxed horse has a round and peaceful gaze. Conversely, if you see a tightening of the muscles around the mouth or the appearance of the white of the eye, the horse is expressing anxiety. By noticing these signs early, you can adjust your movement before the horse feels the need to flee or defend itself.

The Role of the Tail and Hindquarters The tail is another vital indicator. A swishing tail can signal irritation or flies, but a tucked or rigid tail often indicates high stress. Similarly, watch the weight distribution in the hindquarters. A horse that shifts its weight away from you is asking for more distance.

The Power of the Pause and Recalibration

As I demonstrated in the footage, if I realize I have lost awareness of my own body, I stop. Humans often rush into a horse’s personal space without asking for permission. By stopping and recentering, I ensure that I am speaking a language of safety rather than one of confusion. This pause allows the horse to make a choice to engage, which is the cornerstone of trust.

Somatic Awareness in Equine Assisted Therapy

In the field of equine assisted therapy, the horse acts as a living biofeedback machine. They do not care about the words you use. They care about the authenticity of your physical state. If you feel internal anxiety but try to project outward calmness, the horse will sense the incongruence and may move away.

Learning to recenter yourself to meet a horse teaches the vital skill of nervous system regulation. By noticing your breath and your posture, you provide the horse with a clear and honest signal. This creates a safe interaction for everyone involved and allows for deeper emotional healing to take place.

Applying Equine Lessons to Human Relationships and Wellness

The principles used to meet a horse apply directly to our human world. Most of our daily misunderstandings stem from a lack of presence during initial contact.

Presence in Human Communication: By practicing somatic awareness, we prevent the energetic static that leads to conflict.
Creating Emotional Safety: Just as I aim to make my interaction with the horses feel safe, we should strive for that same emotional safety with people.
Authentic Leadership: When we show up with a regulated nervous system, we naturally build trust in professional and personal environments.

Final Thoughts on Horsemanship in the Year of the Horse

As we continue through the Year of the Horse, it is important to remember that the most profound horse things are actually human things. When we learn to meet another being with clarity and presence, we are not just training an animal. We are training ourselves to be more authentic and grounded versions of ourselves.

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Being Safe vs Feeling Safe: A Nervous System Guide (with horses)

By Lexie Glisson • January 31, 2026

Why You Can Be Safe but Not Feel Safe: And What Horses Mirror Safety isn’t just a thought. It’s a nervous system experience. There’s a big difference between being safe and feeling safe : Being safe means there’s no present-moment threat. Feeling safe means your nervous system agrees. If you’ve ever been in a totally normal moment, nothing dangerous is actually happening, but your body is acting like something is wrong, you’re not alone. You might notice a tight chest, foggy thinking, an urge to escape, or a sudden numbness. That’s often a conditioned response : an inner state that doesn’t match your outer reality. This is where a tool called dual awareness can help. What is dual awareness? A nervous system tool for feeling safe Dual awareness is when you place equal attention on your outer world and your inner world . It helps you check for congruence between: what’s actually happening right now, and what your nervous system is experiencing. When your inner experience matches your outer circumstances, you’re more likely to respond with choice and clarity. Step 1: How to check for safety in your environment Before we do anything internal, we start with the obvious question: Am I actually unsafe right now? If there’s a real present-moment threat, that’s not the time to talk yourself out of it. Your nervous system is doing its job. If you’re physically safe, here are a few gentle ways to orient to the present moment: What do I see right now? Where are my feet? What sounds do I hear? Step 2: How to check your breathing, body, and thoughts Next, shift your awareness inward and notice what’s happening without forcing it to change. Breath: fast, slow, shallow, deep Body: tense, relaxed, strained Thoughts: scattered, racing, absent, foggy, sharp, hyper-alert Then try naming your experience in a way that creates a little space: “A part of me feels scared.” “A part of me wants to leave.” Instead of: “I’m not safe.” This small shift can help you stay connected to what’s happening inside without becoming consumed by it. Step 3: How to tell if you are safe but not feeling safe Now that you’ve tuned into both your outer world and inner world, ask: Does my internal experience match my external circumstances? Being safe + feeling safe is a congruent state. Being safe + feeling unsafe is an incongruent state. Incongruence doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It often means your nervous system is responding from old learning rather than present-moment reality. What horses mirror in equine-assisted therapy: congruence and nervous system state When working with horses, they can support this process by mirroring congruence or incoherence in real time. Horses are especially sensitive to authenticity. They don’t care if you’re sad, mad, bad, or glad. What matters most is whether your inner state is congruent with your outward expression. As you attempt to connect, you may notice patterns in how horses respond. Signs a horse may sense calm and congruence Turn toward you with soft eyes and gentle curiosity Eat or drink water (often a sign of rest and digest) Hold their head in a neutral or lowered position; ears forward or neutral Stand with a leg cocked or lie down to rest Signs a horse may sense stress, activation, or incongruence Become restless, busy, or more alert Lift their head or pin their ears back Break connection and move away Test boundaries by crowding your space or bumping you These are only a few examples, and it’s always more complex than one behavior. It’s about the whole scene: the context, the relationship, and the overall vibe. That’s also why it’s important to do this work with an experienced equine professional. In session, I use my own dual awareness to track what’s happening and help you and the horses move toward deeper congruence. How you rewire the nervous system: repetition and returning to the present Dual awareness helps you stay connected to yourself and your environment in the present moment without getting swallowed by a conditioned response based on the past. Every time you notice you’re elevated and you come back to reality, you’re reprogramming your nervous system. Every time you catch an old story and choose to reorient to the present moment, you’re reprogramming your nervous system. Every time you become aware that your body is reliving an old experience that doesn’t match what is actually happening right now, you’re building a new bridge. You’re learning to respond to the world as the mature adult you are, instead of like the younger part of you that didn’t know what to do. Therapy support in Boulder and Denver: equine-assisted therapy, EMDR, and nervous system work If you’ve been wondering why you can know you’re safe but not feel safe, you’re not alone, and it’s workable. Dual awareness is one of the ways we start building that bridge. Want support with this work, with or without horses? Reach out to schedule a consultation and we’ll explore what kind of therapy support fits best.