What to Expect in an EMDR Therapy Session: A Step-by-Step Overview

If you’re considering EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, you may be wondering what the process is like and what you can expect during a session. Whether you’re seeking help with trauma, anxiety, or other emotional challenges, it’s natural to feel a bit unsure about what’s involved.

In this blog, we’ll walk you through a typical EMDR therapy session—from your first consultation to the different phases of therapy and what healing might look like—so you can feel confident and prepared as you begin your journey toward healing.

What Happens During the First EMDR Session?

The first session is all about building trust and creating a safe, comfortable space for you to begin your healing process. Your therapist will likely start by gathering information about your history, including the specific challenges you’re facing, such as trauma, anxiety, or other emotional difficulties.

During this initial consultation, you and your therapist will discuss:

Your reasons for seeking therapy and your goals.
Any traumatic experiences or memories that you’d like to address (although you don’t need to go into detail during this session).
Logistical details, such as your preferences for the pace and approach of therapy.
An overview of the EMDR process so you understand how it works.

The goal is to ensure you’re comfortable and that the therapist understands your needs before diving into the more detailed aspects of EMDR. This helps set the foundation for a collaborative, effective therapeutic relationship.

Step 1: History-Taking and Preparation

After the initial consultation, the first formal phase of EMDR therapy begins. In this phase, you and your therapist will discuss your history in more depth, including any significant traumas or emotional challenges you’ve experienced. The therapist will ask you to identify target memories—specific moments or events that you’d like to work on.

This stage is important because it allows the therapist to understand which memories are causing the most distress and which areas to focus on in your therapy. You’ll also work together to develop coping strategies to use between sessions, ensuring you feel equipped to handle any emotional discomfort that might arise during treatment.

In preparation for processing trauma, the therapist will often introduce relaxation techniques to help you stay calm and grounded throughout the session. This might include mindfulness or breathing exercises, which will be helpful in the later stages of therapy.

Step 2: Identifying Target Memories

Once you’ve established a safe, supportive environment, the next step is to identify the specific memories that will be processed during your sessions. These are typically memories that are connected to unresolved trauma or distressing emotions.

Your therapist may guide you to recall a traumatic event or a difficult feeling tied to that event. You don’t have to go into great detail during this phase—just the essence of the memory. This could involve recalling the image, thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations associated with the memory.

You might also be asked to identify any negative beliefs or self-talk that arose from the traumatic experience (e.g., “I’m not safe,” “I’m not good enough”). Identifying these beliefs is crucial because EMDR therapy works to replace negative beliefs with more positive, adaptive ones.

Step 3: Desensitization (Bilateral Stimulation)

Now comes the core of the EMDR process: desensitization, which involves reprocessing the traumatic memory through bilateral stimulation (BLS). Bilateral stimulation typically involves moving your eyes back and forth (as you follow the therapist’s hand), or tapping or listening to alternating sounds. This stimulates both hemispheres of the brain, helping to process the emotional and cognitive aspects of the memory.

As you recall the memory while engaging in BLS, your therapist will guide you through the process, asking you how the memory or emotions shift. Over the course of the session, the emotional intensity of the memory tends to decrease, and your negative beliefs often begin to shift toward more empowering, positive ones.

The goal of this phase is to help you process the traumatic memory so that it no longer causes emotional distress. It can take time, and you may need to revisit the memory several times before you begin to feel relief.

Step 4: Installation (Reinforcing Positive Beliefs)

Once the negative emotions surrounding the traumatic memory have been processed, the next phase is installation, where the therapist works with you to replace negative beliefs with more positive, adaptive ones. For example, if you’ve been struggling with the belief “I’m not safe,” your therapist might help you shift that to “I am safe now.”

Bilateral stimulation continues during this phase to help “install” these new, positive beliefs into your mind and body. This step is important because it helps reinforce new patterns of thought and behavior that can support long-term healing.

Step 5: Body Scan (Releasing Physical Tension)

During the body scan phase, your therapist will ask you to mentally scan your body for any lingering physical tension associated with the processed memory. Often, traumatic memories are stored not just in the mind but also in the body, so this phase is designed to help release any remaining discomfort or physical sensations tied to the trauma.

If you notice any tension, your therapist may guide you to process that as well, ensuring that you feel completely at ease and grounded.

Step 6: Closure (Grounding and Reflection)

At the end of each session, your therapist will guide you through a closure phase. This involves helping you return to a state of calm and stability, regardless of how intense the session may have been. You may be asked to use relaxation techniques, mindfulness, or grounding exercises to help you feel present and safe.

Your therapist will also encourage you to reflect on the progress made during the session and check in on how you’re feeling. Closure is essential to ensure that you leave the session feeling balanced, rather than overwhelmed.

Step 7: Reevaluation (Ongoing Healing)

In follow-up sessions, the therapist will check in on your progress and reevaluate the memories you’ve worked on. They will ask if you’re still experiencing any emotional charge around the processed memories or if any new memories have surfaced for attention.

Healing is a gradual process, and the reevaluation phase allows the therapist to make sure the changes from previous sessions are lasting and that the trauma is truly resolved.

What Healing Looks Like with EMDR

The healing process with EMDR varies from person to person, but many clients notice significant improvements after just a few sessions. Common results include:

• Reduced emotional reactivity to traumatic memories.

• A shift in negative self-beliefs to more positive, adaptive ones.

• Greater emotional regulation and resilience.

• Improved relationships and overall well-being.

With continued sessions, clients often find that memories no longer trigger emotional pain, and they feel more connected to their authentic selves and the present moment.

Final Thoughts

EMDR therapy is a powerful, structured process that helps individuals heal from trauma, anxiety, and other emotional struggles. If you’re considering EMDR therapy, knowing what to expect during each session can help reduce any anxiety or uncertainty.

By working through the phases of history-taking, desensitization, installation, body scanning, and closure, you and your therapist can collaboratively process distressing memories and help you move toward emotional freedom.

Are you ready to explore EMDR therapy? Reach out today to schedule your first session and take the first step toward healing.

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Being Safe vs Feeling Safe: A Nervous System Guide (with horses)

By Lexie Glisson • January 31, 2026

Why You Can Be Safe but Not Feel Safe: And What Horses Mirror Safety isn’t just a thought. It’s a nervous system experience. There’s a big difference between being safe and feeling safe : Being safe means there’s no present-moment threat. Feeling safe means your nervous system agrees. If you’ve ever been in a totally normal moment, nothing dangerous is actually happening, but your body is acting like something is wrong, you’re not alone. You might notice a tight chest, foggy thinking, an urge to escape, or a sudden numbness. That’s often a conditioned response : an inner state that doesn’t match your outer reality. This is where a tool called dual awareness can help. What is dual awareness? A nervous system tool for feeling safe Dual awareness is when you place equal attention on your outer world and your inner world . It helps you check for congruence between: what’s actually happening right now, and what your nervous system is experiencing. When your inner experience matches your outer circumstances, you’re more likely to respond with choice and clarity. Step 1: How to check for safety in your environment Before we do anything internal, we start with the obvious question: Am I actually unsafe right now? If there’s a real present-moment threat, that’s not the time to talk yourself out of it. Your nervous system is doing its job. If you’re physically safe, here are a few gentle ways to orient to the present moment: What do I see right now? Where are my feet? What sounds do I hear? Step 2: How to check your breathing, body, and thoughts Next, shift your awareness inward and notice what’s happening without forcing it to change. Breath: fast, slow, shallow, deep Body: tense, relaxed, strained Thoughts: scattered, racing, absent, foggy, sharp, hyper-alert Then try naming your experience in a way that creates a little space: “A part of me feels scared.” “A part of me wants to leave.” Instead of: “I’m not safe.” This small shift can help you stay connected to what’s happening inside without becoming consumed by it. Step 3: How to tell if you are safe but not feeling safe Now that you’ve tuned into both your outer world and inner world, ask: Does my internal experience match my external circumstances? Being safe + feeling safe is a congruent state. Being safe + feeling unsafe is an incongruent state. Incongruence doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It often means your nervous system is responding from old learning rather than present-moment reality. What horses mirror in equine-assisted therapy: congruence and nervous system state When working with horses, they can support this process by mirroring congruence or incoherence in real time. Horses are especially sensitive to authenticity. They don’t care if you’re sad, mad, bad, or glad. What matters most is whether your inner state is congruent with your outward expression. As you attempt to connect, you may notice patterns in how horses respond. Signs a horse may sense calm and congruence Turn toward you with soft eyes and gentle curiosity Eat or drink water (often a sign of rest and digest) Hold their head in a neutral or lowered position; ears forward or neutral Stand with a leg cocked or lie down to rest Signs a horse may sense stress, activation, or incongruence Become restless, busy, or more alert Lift their head or pin their ears back Break connection and move away Test boundaries by crowding your space or bumping you These are only a few examples, and it’s always more complex than one behavior. It’s about the whole scene: the context, the relationship, and the overall vibe. That’s also why it’s important to do this work with an experienced equine professional. In session, I use my own dual awareness to track what’s happening and help you and the horses move toward deeper congruence. How you rewire the nervous system: repetition and returning to the present Dual awareness helps you stay connected to yourself and your environment in the present moment without getting swallowed by a conditioned response based on the past. Every time you notice you’re elevated and you come back to reality, you’re reprogramming your nervous system. Every time you catch an old story and choose to reorient to the present moment, you’re reprogramming your nervous system. Every time you become aware that your body is reliving an old experience that doesn’t match what is actually happening right now, you’re building a new bridge. You’re learning to respond to the world as the mature adult you are, instead of like the younger part of you that didn’t know what to do. Therapy support in Boulder and Denver: equine-assisted therapy, EMDR, and nervous system work If you’ve been wondering why you can know you’re safe but not feel safe, you’re not alone, and it’s workable. Dual awareness is one of the ways we start building that bridge. Want support with this work, with or without horses? Reach out to schedule a consultation and we’ll explore what kind of therapy support fits best.