How Do Horses Help with Attachment Issues?
In the complex world of attachment and relationships,
horses offer a unique and powerful path to healing. Having grown up in the competitive equestrian world, I’ve seen firsthand how relationships can shift. But I also experienced the grounding impact of one constant, unwavering equine presence in my life.
Can Horses Help Heal Attachment Trauma?
My journey began at age four when my mother made a decision that would shape my emotional development. She gave me my first pony, Bailey—a spirited three-year-old who quickly became my emotional anchor. Unlike other horses on our farm, Bailey came with a promise: she would never be sold. She would be mine, no matter what.
The Power of an Early Horse-Human Bond
In our busy hunter-jumper facility in Louisiana, home to over 18 horses constantly being bought and sold, Bailey stood out as a symbol of permanence. As a shy child who struggled to connect with peers and often felt overshadowed by my older brother and his friends, I found in Bailey what attachment theorists call a “secure base.”
Emotional Safety and Co-Regulation
While my parents focused on their demanding careers, my father a lawyer and my mother running the barn, Bailey became my emotional touchstone. I’d sit bareback while she grazed, our breathing syncing, my nervous system calming in her steady presence. Though I didn’t have the language for it then, these were moments of co-regulation. These experiences shaped my ability to self-soothe and connect securely.
Early Lessons on Attachment from Equine Relationships
The contrast between my bond with Bailey and the temporary connections I had with other horses taught me some early, profound lessons:
- The Impact of Impermanence
- Experiencing the grief of sold horses
- Learning to navigate emotional goodbyes
- Building resilience through change
- Bailey’s constant presence
- The trust built through unconditional connection
- The safety that comes from reliability
How Equine Therapy Fosters Secure Attachment
In my current work as
an equine therapist, I see these principles at play every day:
- Creating Safe Connections
- Horses offer non-judgmental, consistent presence
- Trust builds through reliable responses
- Co-regulation helps calm the nervous system
- Developing Emotional Resources
- Clients learn how to engage in healthy relationships
- Practice setting and maintaining boundaries
- Explore and reinforce secure attachment patterns
Horses as Partners in Healing
Through both personal and professional experience, I’ve found that horses can:
- Mirror our attachment styles
- Provide real-time feedback on our relational habits
- Offer space for emotional vulnerability
- Help us try new, healthier ways of connecting
From Childhood Lessons to Clinical Practice
Those quiet lunches in Bailey’s stall, when human connection felt too difficult, now shape my therapeutic approach. I deeply understand how
horses can serve as secure attachment figures, especially when people have experienced inconsistency or pain in their human relationships.
Equine Therapy in Practice in Boulder Colorado
At my therapy locations in Boulder and Golden, Colorado, we work with horses to:
- Increase awareness of attachment patterns
- Practice healthy dependency and trust
- Build confidence in relational dynamics
- Create consistent, reliable connections
Whether you’re healing from attachment wounds, working through relationship challenges, or simply seeking a deeper sense of connection,
equine therapy offers a powerful and transformative path. My practice combines professional knowledge with lived experience to guide you, one relationship at a time, toward secure attachment.
Reach out to learn more about sessions in Boulder and Golden, Colorado.
